In our lives we naturally evolve, grow and change.  It is the way we have been made.  Every day we experience and learn something new.  In doing so we evolve, learn and grow. 

So why do we spend so much time and energy comparing ourselves with others and how they are evolving and growing?  Particularly when it often leaves us feeling sad or depressed or telling ourselves - ‘I’m not good enough. I should do better. I am not pretty enough.’   Even worse, we sometimes stop ourselves from trying something new because we feel we may be compared to someone else.

Trees, plants and animals evolve and grow without thinking about it.  They can’t help but do it.  It just happens.

I believe we are the same, but our comparing mind gets in the way.  I wonder what our lives would be like if we engaged our mind in a different way. 

At the moment I am spending 1 hour every day helping children in Year 6 at my son's school in a Swim and Survive program.  I am the teacher of a group of children that are challenged with swimming and diving.  One boy was very keen to swim, but when he started he said ‘There is no way I could swim one lap (50 metres)’.  On the first evening, I gave them some homework.  They were to imagine themselves swimming one lap.  

The next day he bounced up to me saying ‘He had imagined he could swim a lap and wanted to have a go’.  And sure enough, during the lesson he not only swam one lap but he swam two laps (100 metres).  His freestyle had improved and he could now do backstroke.  He was on a high because he was doing his best. 

Then yesterday he swam 3 laps (150 metres).  This was a huge challenge for him but he did it, and he was so proud of himself.  When he had finished he turned to a girl  beside him and proudly said “I just swam 3 laps !”  Unfortunately her response was “I just swam 10!”  He repeated himself and said “I just swam 3 laps!”  She repeated her response to him.  His face dropped and looked at me.  You could see the energy leaving his body.  Quickly I said “You did 3 laps John.  That is the best you have ever done, and that is all that matters.  Aren’t you proud of yourself?”.  His energy in his body started to fill up again, slowly.

That day I learnt two things. The importance of encouraging every child to:

*   Celebrate their personal achievements *  
When your child starts comparing themselves with someone else, encourage them to compare with themselves instead.  Ask them to look back to where they have come from to get to this point now.  Too often we are moving onto something else without celebrating where we have come from.  By the way, this is how Ian Thorpe became a world champion swimmer.

*   Use their imagination  *  
Encourage your child to have a goal and to imagine themselves experiencing their goal - swimming a lap of a 50 metre pool; skiing down a mountain; having special friends. It doesn't matter what their goal is, the important thing is to engage their imagination.  Because once they have engaged their imagination, anything is possible!   

That's all for now.  Have fun engaging your imagination and celebrating your and your child's personal achievements!

PS  Just got back from swimming today.  John swam 5 laps !

Written by:  Karin de Vos November 2006